When you think of self love, what comes to mind? I want you to picture how that would look in your life.
If I could guess, you probably thought of self care days with an aesthetic facial mask and clean skin from an everything shower. Maybe your initial thought was pouring positive self-talk to sustain a confident mindset, or you possibly think it’s being kinder to yourself by accepting flaws.
The truth is, all of these qualities are true actions of self love. The basic definition of self love is, “a state of appreciation for oneself,” which you’ve thought correctly.
So yes, using skin care to obtain glass skin and adding positive quotes to post-it notes is a perfect way to support your own well-being and overall health, but there is a deeper meaning behind it.
Self appreciation brings along many challenges that people try to avoid, such as cutting friendships off, setting boundaries and stepping out of comfort zones. It can be difficult to choose ourselves even if it’ll benefit us long term. So as romanticizing your life can feel comforting and reassuring, bigger decisions can feel frightening and uncomfortable. That is the main goal for achieving self esteem, we must feel uncomfortable to reach sufficient self growth.
Self love isn’t always pretty and aesthetic. Most people believe it’s important to be confident and strong consistently, but that’s not how it works. Life naturally brings along hurdles that may leave us drained and unmotivated, but what truly matters is how we respond to these issues. Choosing to give up can feel comfortable and necessary, as our brains are wired to avoid discomfort and seek what feels safe, but we must fight these feelings and choose what’s right. It’s important to keep showing up for yourself, even when it’s hard, because that’s how genuine self love is built. Pushing through negative emotions and challenges will leave your future self thanking you and it leads to self acceptance.
There are many situations people are afraid of, such as speaking up for themselves, walking away from people who drain their energy, accepting mistakes, or chasing a goal that feels too big. Most people know these decisions lead to improvement and are beneficial, but the fear overpowers the ability to pursue these actions. Inevitably, choosing to move forward despite that fear is an act of respect. It means you’re breaking negative cycles and refusing to let them limit the life you genuinely deserve.
This is not something you gain overnight, as it’s not easy to step out of our comfort zone and try something unfamiliar. Instead, it’s a skill you learn and understand over time. Nobody finds it easy to gain courage and leave that toxic friend group or try a new hobby that’s been leaving you in doubt. Self love is all about choosing yourself, so once you decide to take that big leap and overcome the fear, it becomes easier to keep showing up for yourself again and again.
I want you to think. What is something you know is beneficial, but you’re too afraid to pursue it? Ask yourself, how will this change my life if I make this decision? Overcoming this fear is something we’ll work on together, but for now, always remember that self love comes by prioritizing ourselves even in the most difficult and vulnerable situations!
